The End of Month One: Is My Boy A Right-Brained Learner?

Well here we are at the end of our first month of home educating our seven-year-old son. I think he has learned something. I know that I, however, have learned a LOT.

I've learned that getting cross with him doesn't get me any results whatsoever, except to increase my own, and his, stress levels. (Duh - you'd have thought I'd have learned this years ago, but no. I am a slow learner!)

I have learned that when he is enjoying an activity, he absorbs a lot of information about that activity. The opposite is also true. If James really hates the idea of something, or struggles with it, I have to weigh-up the value of actually making him do it, as it seems at such times that all potential for learning temporarily takes flight. There are some things I feel it is important to strongly encourage/bribe him to do, such as writing a daily diary. In fact, some days I don't mind if that is the only writing he actually does. I have seen some improvement in his written expression, and his handwriting, since we started this daily exercise. I view it as a valuable tool for recalling the things we've done together, and for reflection, and an opportunity for James to see that he is actually making some progress, and having lots of fun while doing so. It's something he protests against on most days, but he always seems pleased with what he has written afterwards, and when his Dad walks through the front door it's usually the first thing he shows to him. It's akin to getting James to go to bed on time - not something he really wants to do most evenings (unless he's feeling particularly sleepy), but something that we see as necessary, something that will benefit him in both the short- and long-term, and something that, generally, James seems pleased with once it's over!

I've learned that James's capacity for assimilating information is huge. When it comes to Star Wars, that is. He has read through the whole of his Star Wars annual, which recounts the stories of all six film episodes, as well as giving loads of biographical information about each of the characters. He's completed quizzes, word searches and anagrams. He can pretty much answer any question about the films and characters (although he hasn't seen Episode III - a bit too much burning if you ask me). You might think this is all a bit inappropriate, obsessional, perhaps. To me it speaks of James' potential for learning and his mind-boggling ability to understand the complex world of imaginary intergalactic warfare. Which is amazing to me when I consider that he struggles to go through the mechanisms necessary for successful teeth-cleaning of a morning.

I've been pondering the nature of James's learning style as we've embarked on this new phase of life, and in all my digging and hypothesis-positing I have uncovered a couple of possibilities (and they may be very closely linked) that I feel warrant further investigation: The first is that James may have a mild, and specifically inattentive, form of ADHD. Gasp. I know little about such things but from the bits of research I have done (initiated by an inkling of mine) I have discovered enough to justify getting an assessment appointment for James. And that is what we have done. More on that later. The other thing I have had an inkling about for some time is the idea that James may be a completely different kind of learner from me, and indeed, from most of the children that formal education systems and tests, etc, seem to cater for.  I have been reading about right-brained (or 'visual-spatial') learners at Throwing Marshmallows blog  (her son is a visual-spatial learner) and also by following some of the links she gives. (This person has also written an excellent post a couple of years ago about ADHD, homeschooling and the olympic swimmer Michael Phelps here. I like her blog muchly.) I think James may be a predominantly 'visual-spatial' learner. The other main type of learner is called 'auditory-sequential'. I think I am one of those, with a bit of the other thrown in, just to keep things interesting.

Now, I don't have any of the answers to my questions about James's learning style and attention 'needs' yet, but I feel like I am making some headway into understanding him better.  I look forward to discovering more about him, because the more I get to know him, and try to do things in a way that suits him, the better our relationship gets.

Reflections.

Week three of home educating: the highlights.

On Monday James and I visited an animal welfare centre and spent some time hanging out with the cats, with a view to possibly adopting one. By the time we left we had fallen for a beautiful black cat called Angel. Fast forward a few days and Angel is now our cat. She is currently hiding under a cupboard in the conservatory and only came out briefly during the night to scale the windowsill and knock some stuff onto the floor. I think she must have scared herself silly as she's back under the cupboard with a look on her cute little face that says 'leave me alone'. However for a couple of hours when she first arrived home, she had a little nosey around the room and seemed, well, not too offended. James also dug out some cat-related books at the library on Wednesday and since then he's been discovering the best ways to settle the cat in to our home and how to look after her in general. (This will all help towards getting his Animal Care badge at Beavers in a few weeks' time.)

On Tuesday we got up dead early and drove to Plymouth, where we checked out the City Museum. There we found, amongst other bits and bobs, some mummified animals from Ancient Egypt, a Hippopotamus skull, various bird skeletons, and some African musical instruments and games which the boys enjoyed playing.

The rest of the week included a steady mix of maths (digital and analogue clocks), English (writing all about 'me') and science (the human body) workbook pages, diary writing, Beavers, and Gruffalo play preparation. James and I worked out how we were going to make the various set pieces - Owl's treetop house, Fox's underground house and Snake's logpile house, as well as the rocks, the stream and the lake, all out of large cardboard boxes. We found some pink fur for the mouse's ears and tail, some orange fur for the fox, and some brown fur for the Gruffalo. We haven't got to the filming part yet, as we are a bit behind with making the costumes. We're going to do lots of painting and costume-making this week, and I'm going to help James make the invitations on the computer for family and friends to come and watch the play later in the week.

There have been some tricky times, but I've decided not to focus on those. All in all, I feel that we have found a happy medium between the structure of the first week and the freedom of the second. It is still very early days, and we are both adjusting to the new pattern of living. We are finding our way, and it feels good. Challenging. But good.

The Gruffalo To The Rescue.

This week, thank the Lord, has been a much better homeschooling experience than the last. After wrestling with our routine for the first week,  I decided to take a different approach with James for the second - more 'hands off' (ie. less bossing from me). I let James choose what he wanted to do, play, read, and watch, making some gentle suggestions along the way, but not pushing anything. And two things happened. One, we both relaxed, which made a huge difference to our ability to communicate and have fun, and two, we actually got some stuff done!

Contrary to my fears that all James would want to do would be to play with Star Wars lego morning, noon and night, he actually surprised me by choosing to spend time listening to The Gruffalo story on CD (a firm fave in our house - thanks Auntie Lou!), watching the brilliant BBC animation that was on TV a couple of Christmasses ago, and then making plans to put on a house performance with Daniel as the mouse, Karl as the Gruffalo and James playing all the other parts (I'm the narrator). We had a 'planning meeting' on Thursday to plan the cast, costumes and set design. We're going to get the materials, make costumes and set pieces and practise the performance during the coming week, film it next weekend (for you lucky people, and for the express purpose of embarrassing James on his 18th birthday, hehe), and perform it for friends and family in half-term (they get no choice in the matter - tough pants!).

What a difference a week makes. We are all smiles here once again. For now.

(Check out the excellent Gruffalo website here.)

In The Beginning: Our First Week.

My son, James, and I have just completed our first week of homeschooling together. The whole process has really served to hold a mirror up to my parenting skills. And I find myself seriously lacking. Lacking patience, lacking compassion, lacking flexibility, lacking joy. I had made all sorts of plans, about how our week would look, and how each day would flow. I was dreaming about the fun we would have together.  But so far it hasn't quite worked out as I had hoped. It's mostly been tough. Tough with a huge dollop of difficult. Or perhaps that's just my perspective.

 We have had some fun, on some days. Like when James, Dan and I went to the woods, and did a nature collection, fed the ducks and swans and had lunch together. The next day James and I made a huge nature picture featuring photographs of our time in the woods, and some of our nature collection. We both enjoyed that.

But most days have been full of struggles. James has been quite out of sorts. He's been angry, confrontational, defiant. He's been cheeky, silly, and distracted. He's been really unenthusiastic about many of our plans (things we both had talked about and agreed on), and unresponsive to my attempts to direct him or challenge his behaviour. To some extent I think this is due to the disruption of the change from school to home. Perhaps he is just pushing the boundaries because I'm his mum and I am trying to carve out a new role as his teacher. Maybe he's reacting to the newness of the circumstances, and things will settle down. I hope they do.

I am trying to be flexible, to think about the options for different ways of learning and interacting. At the same time I am worried about what other people are thinking - how do I convince my husband and other family members that this is going to work out, that we can be adaptable and unconventional and still give our son a well rounded and effective educational experience? How do I convince myself?

I haven't behaved particularly well either. I've been cross and shouty, and too, too serious. I've been anxious to get things done in a certain way, to achieve my goals according to my timescales. I've been talking too much and listening too little. And the furrowed line in the centre of my forehead is getting deeper! I thought I was well prepared for last week. Now I think I've been flying blind.

Preparedness for me has always been about the external - the paperwork, the to-do lists, the right things in the right places, the materials and the books, the trips and the experiences. But I have not prepared myself. And I have not prepared James. Our relationship has taken a bit of a beating over these last few months, as he and I have struggled to navigate the ups and downs of school and home life, and to communicate in our different languages (that's what it feels like some days).

I thought that being prepared meant having the right plans for each day and each week's work, planned responses for this and that behaviour. Now I realise that being prepared is much more than that. It's about me being a mum, the right kind of mum for James. It's about my heart and his. It's about our relationship, our connection, our trust. I am not here to control him, but to nurture, not to boss, but to train, not to do for, but to show. My role is to care, to love, to bless. I am to raise him towards adulthood with care and affection. And our homeschooling journey is now a major part of that. I want to worry less about what he is achieving academically, and concentrate more on how he is developing as a person.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not turn from it". (Proverbs 22:6)

I am going to spend some time thinking about what kind of character I would like James to become, and how I can help him to grow into that character. I'll be on my knees praying a lot - I need all the help I can get!

Be Prepared!

James joined the Beaver Scouts a couple of weeks ago. (A younger version of Cubs). Their motto is 'be prepared'. I've decided to adopt this as my motto too. A few weeks ago I was thinking ahead of the coming year, and what I would like to do differently. I came up with two main thoughts - I would like to be more prepared, not just for home ed, but in many areas of life - domestically, as a parent, as a friend and so on, and I would like to enjoy life more, to laugh more and have more fun. I've been way too serious for way too long - and my kids could certainly do with some cheering up.

So this week has been a week of preparation, getting ready for home education. I know that the boundaries between education and life are not clear cut, as education should permeate all of life. However, we still need a place to work, to create, to play, to talk and read and listen. As we've been having some building work done recently, that has taken a few weeks longer than expected, we are still in a bit of a pickle here in terms of organisation and space. In other words, there is stuff everywhere, and none of it in the right place. So James, having finished school last Friday, has been helping me to sort things out. We've done some housework, some clearing up and some organising (I even had James willingly mopping the floor and doing dishes! Not bad this home education lark!).

The other thing we have had time to do this week is just talk. We have talked about some of the subjects James would like to explore as we spend time learning together in the coming weeks and months. We have talked (mainly me) about our expectations regarding behaviour, and this week we are going to establish the 'rules for a happy home'. I'll share those with you another time. We talked about what a typical week might look like, and decided on a theme for each day, so that we have something to focus on as we plan our work. Again, I'll share those another time. I'm just grabbing five minutes to get some thoughts down on the blog.

So we are looking ahead to next week, our 'official' first week of home educating. And as we do so, we are praying for guidance, enjoying the time and space to think and talk, and excitement is bubbling up as we anticipate the journey we are about to begin!

We have a date!

For starting home educating, that is. Next week will officially be James's last full week at school. We start on Monday 31st January. Excited!!!!

I had planned for James to finish school a week later, but two things have changed my mind. One is that there hasn't been a day since the new term started that James hasn't dragged his feet of a morning and emphatically declared his hatred for school. I know that he isn't alone in feeling that way, and that isn't by any means our only reason for taking him out of school, but I have witnessed a gradual increase in his reluctance to go to school and his objections have become stronger as the days and weeks have passed. I can't wait to start home educating if only to put an end to the whingeing. (Of course I realise it won't put an end to it really, but it helps me to think that it might).

The other thing is that James came home from school the other day and told me that his teacher had called him a 'lazy child'. Now, I know that James is lots of things, but lazy isn't one of them. He is bright, challenging, daydreamy, quiet, sensitive, distractible, and a bit silly sometimes. But he certainly isn't lazy. And even if he was, I really don't think any child (or person) should be subject to such unhelpful (even borderline abusive) comments. I also don't think that he made it up. He isn't usually given to telling tall tales, and we don't use the word 'lazy' at home at all. He told me when and where it was said and explained the context. I have also witnessed his teacher being less than kind to some of the other children in his class. So I believe him. I am really cross with his teacher.

But I haven't expressed that to anyone (well, apart from you). Instead I have channelled that energy into getting as geared up as possible for our home educating adventures. And I have taken this incident as confirmation that we are doing the right thing for now. The sooner James comes out of that environment, the better.

Another Pound Bites The Dust.

As the title suggests, at my WW weigh-in today I discovered that over the Christmas season I actually lost a pound in weight. Astonishing. Maybe it was all the illness, maybe all the stress, who knows? I have been eating a teensy bit less recently, but haven't done much exercise to speak of. Oh well, I'll take it! And now I start the year with a new determination to succeed at this weight-loss malarky.

Conservatory Update 2: Another Photo.

Unfortunately, the weather and the state of the roads and the availability of concrete and the size of vans and the general attitude of builders and heaps of other things seem to be working against us at the moment, thus delaying the completion of our new conservatory. However, we do now have walls. I am thankful. And I sat in my lounge recently thinking to myself how fortunate we were to be having an extra room built on the back of our already fairly decent-sized house, while some people live in houses half the size of our lounge, with ten children, several grandparents and a few chickens. And a goat. And no toilet. So, again, I am thankful.
Here's a photo:

So Proud!

I had a very proud moment this evening, when my elder son, James, who is six, sat with me as we read together from C. S Lewis's The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, one of my favourite children's books and one that I have been secretly waiting to read with him since before he was born (I still have my box set of the Chronicles of Narnia books from my own childhood). I read the first few chapters to him, and then he took over and read almost a whole chapter aloud by himself. Having previously only read to me a few pages at a time of his school books or picture story books, it was lovely to hear him reading a much harder book, and to see his enthusiasm increase as he started to really get into the story. Almost brought a tear to my eye. Yes, I am a big softie.

Of course, it's even more special given the significance of the story's meaning and the fact that we have been having some important conversations about God, Jesus and faith recently as we have talked about the Christmas story. It's been heart-warming for me to be able to answer some of James's questions and to see him begin to make sense of some of the things we believe and try to live by. So I can't wait to continue reading these stories with James and talking some more about what they might mean.

Telling The Headteacher.

Today I met with James's headteacher to tell him of our decision to home educate. I was really nervous, as I don't know him well, and wasn't sure of how he would react. I prayed about it a bit, and sat at home and wrote out a list of reasons why we are making this decision, being careful not to criticise the school or the teachers and to stress the plus points of home education, and then I sat in the car park worrying about it, feeling like I was about to go into a job interview or something. I know. Ridiculous. It turns out I needn't have worried. The head was really nice, and, like any decent headteacher, asked important questions like "What do you think the negative sides of home educating might be?" and "Have you thought ahead about what to do regarding secondary school subjects and GCSEs?" and other equally valid questions, which I tried to answer as best I could. I made it clear that I am not anti-school, and that this was purely a decision based on what we feel will be in James's best interest, and we are not averse to him coming back to school later on should that be necessary. He said he would respect our decision, that I had clearly made my mind up and he "knew when to throw in the towel"! All in all, it was a good meeting, and I came away feeling even more that this is the right thing for James, for now. The plan is to write to him officially after the Christmas holidays, give ourselves a week or two to get sorted out after Christmas, and start mid-January.

I'm A Loser, Baby.

May I just share with you all the fact that I lost a pound at my weigh-in this week? And since then (wed) I appear to have lost another. Don't know what is going on really but I can't complain! I am, for the record, back to the weight I was when I joined WW in July. So I've been up a few pounds, and down a few. Now the real hard work starts! (After Christmas, of course! What do you take me for?)

Inspired To Action.

I'm afraid I've taken the lazy option today and decided to post a link to someone else's blog. Actually my real reason for doing this isn't because I can't be bothered to write something myself, but because I think this person's blog is one of the best in the blogging world (in my humble opinion). If you're a mum, if you have a faith, if you want to connect with others, be inspired, air your thoughts, organise your life, laugh, find new music, enter great giveaways, and find fantastic links to other great blogs, then I urge you to check this one out.

Inspired to Action

It's written by Kat, who, even though I don't know her, writes in a way that makes me feel like I do, and on many occasions manages to speak right into my life in the process. This post is about the busy-ness of Christmas, and our need to take time out of that to spend with God. Enjoy.

Conservatory Update: Photos.

The old conservatory wall yesterday:

 Today's progress: The new external wall is about a foot and a half further out than the old one . Not much to look at, but for me it's exciting. This will be our new dining room, eventually!

24 Sleeps!!!

The boys couldn't believe it when they woke up to see their advent calendars up on the wall outside their bedroom. They hadn't a clue what day it is today - so it was lovely to witness their cheery smiles! Unfortunately, J was sick during the night last night, so I've got both boys at home with me today. We've had some fun though, constructing a Star Wars lego world in the middle of a giant train track. So far they've been surprisingly well behaved. Now they're settled on the sofa watching a Christmassy DVD (Max Lucado's Hermie: A Fruitcake Christmas) while I catch up with the online world.

The builders returned today after a two-day snow-induced hiatus, to carry on with the groundworks for our new conservatory. Still hoping it'll be done by Christmas. Watch this space!

Taking The Plunge.

We are doing it! We have made the decision. I'm scared, happy and nervous, but ultimately I believe we are doing the right thing, something that is in the best interests of our elder son. So, the plan is to inform the head teacher of his school, and home educate after half term. Aaargh! And Yay! I think that pretty much sums up how I feel!
Update (30.11.10): We are going to home educate James, but we are waiting until after Christmas as originally planned, for reasons that I won't go into. But we are still planning to take the plunge some time in January.

Almost There.

My elder son started year 2 at his school a week or so ago, as the younger one went back to pre-school, and, I have to admit, I breathed a sigh of relief to have a child-free day last Monday for the first time in ages. But as the week went on (actually, after the first two days) I began to feel like I was missing my boys. And, to add to that, I began to see that this year at school may not be any better for J than the last. He still is struggling to find his feet, and his voice, and he seems scared of his teacher (because 'he shouts a lot'). I am beginning to see that, right now at least, my son and school do not seem to go well together. I am very close to making the decision to take him out and home educate him, even if only for a year or so.

What's holding me back? At the moment, I feel unprepared. I like to plan, to know what's coming in advance. So I need to do a bit more planning before we take the plunge. It's looking increasingly likely that we will (take the plunge) and I am excited!

Operation Funsies.

So, there are two weeks until school starts. I have mixed feelings.

I am still knee-deep in 'research' about home education. I am fascinated by people's stories of their own HE experiences, and the more I read, the more I think it's a great idea. I think (as usual) I am stuck in a well of diminished self-confidence when it comes to esteeming my own abilities to home educate my children. I don't know if I've got the guts. It makes sense on paper and in my head. And I think it is the best option for J who is 6, and shows a keen-ness for learning outside of the school environment that has surprised me lately.

What concerns me most at this time is the behaviour of the boys when they are together. Individually, they are wonderful, talkative, interested, compliant where necessary, fun and responsive. Put them together and they fight and bicker, scream and shout, ignore me and defy any attempts to restore peace and quiet amid the storms. In short, they go mental on a regular basis. The focus of my research in the next couple of weeks is going to be how do people deal with manic children and difficult behaviour in the home education environment - I haven't seen much mention of it in the blogs I've read so far, so I'm going to have to dig a bit deeper.

That being said I've got a couple of books coming from Amazon, one about home education (Learning Without School, by Ross Mountney), one about loving my children (How To Really Love Your Child, by Ross Campbell) which I'm hoping will throw out some pearls of wisdom that I can put into practice to bring some calm to this home of ours. I'm trying to fight the feelings I have of looking forward to the children going back to school and pre-school.

How can I home educate if I don't enjoy spending time with my own kids?

So, my other focus for the next two weeks is to get out there and enjoy my time with the children, get down to their level and have some fun, give them some attention and ignore the housework while they are awake. It's operation funsies!

Introductions, And Contemplations.

Hi there.

I'm Rach. I am married to a wonderful man (for nearly 9 years!), and we have two fantastic (and totally boisterous) boys, J (6) and D (3).
This is a blog about our family life. The ups, the downs, and the round-and-rounds. Because let's face it, we have a lot of those!

Right now we are contemplating a big decision. A turnaround. A lifestyle change. 


We are thinking of home-schooling our children.


Wow. I actually said it. That means it's a real possibility, doesn't it?

I only really started looking into it yesterday, exploring blogs, websites and articles, checking and re-checking that I'm not totally mad to be thinking about this.

Today I went into town to try and find some books on the subject. Disappointingly, unless I was looking in completely the wrong places, there were no books on Home Education in our library (or any other local library for that matter). Neither were there any in the two largest bookshops in town. Sometimes it's very frustrating living in a semi-rural area. Shops and restaurants close early (or don't open), public transport is rubbish, and bookshops don't stock the right books. So, it's back to the websites for the time being.

Thankfully, there are some very helpful and informative websites around. This one, this one and this one have done a good job of introducing me to the basics, and providing further links for a more in-depth investigation. I've also discovered some blogs by home-educators, with their own insights and stories to tell. I'm looking forward to finding out more about this fascinating alternative lifestyle, if I nobody minds me calling it that. (I'll list the blogs I like on the left-hand side, and I'll try to keep it up-to-date).

There's just one thing bugging me.

How on earth can I be contemplating home-educating my children, when I have been tearing my hair out with the two of them most days since the summer holidays started? I've cried twice today since breakfast, dragged them literally screaming and shouting around town, been embarrassed by their unsociable behaviour in the library (could they have been more loud?), and threatened to take toys away left, right and centre. I'm hardly the model of a perfect parent, much less qualified to teach them an entire life-time's worth of stuff-worth-knowing.

I have to admit I'm having real discipline issues at the moment, especially with my three year old. I have to sit down every five minutes to catch my breath and read another chapter of some parenting book or other just to keep myself sane. Sometimes I wonder if I am cut out for parenting at all.
And I am thinking of a change that would keep my children home with me 24-7?

Seriously, what's gotten into me?


But then my elder son (age six) said something that made me stop and think again.
The conversation went a bit like this:


"Mummy, how do you learn about things?"


"Er...well, you can look at books, watch DVDs about things, ask people, that sort of thing."


"Because I want to learn about super heroes and the Justice League."


"... Um, Okaaaaay.  Well, you know they're not real, don't you? It's a TV programme."


"Yes, I know....  I want to learn about dinosaurs too!"


"Great!" 


And with that, I was back on the track of investigating the possibilities of home schooling the boys. I'm looking at the hows and whys, and thinking and praying it through. Even in the last day or two, I have started to look at my children differently, and see educational opportunities everywhere we go. I am encouraged by this.

 My husband and I are going to read up and talk about it, and hopefully make a decision by December, as that is the deadline for school applications for our three year old. It'll also be a good point at which to take J out of school if we decide to go ahead, and it'll give us time to prepare both children for the changes,

 I've got so much going on in my mind today that my head is spinning. I'm going to end with a quote from this blog:

"Learning can only happen when a child is interested. If he’s not interested, it’s like throwing marshmallows at his head and calling it eating.”

~ Katrina Gutleben

Food for thought!